1. kayliesaurusrex:


    I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
    "You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
    Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”


    (via dumb-frick)


  2. "hiring entry level positions"





    requirements: 10 years experience in space station repair, masters degree in ancient serbian civilizations, unmatched knowledge of silkworm breeding, full understanding of teleportation mechanics and physics

    pay: $9.50/hour

    benefits, sick days, personal days: none. 

    (via kebaumann)


  3. faraashah:

    if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softy kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear 

    (Source: niqabisinparis, via danwasonfireonce)

  4. tastefullyoffensive:

    Spotted in Nashville. [x]


  5. "

    I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

    ..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

    “Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

    I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

    ..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

  7. sugarbooty:


    October 5, 2013 marks a new adventure in life and a new anniversary to celebrate! Special thanks to Reverend Connie for officiating and to our dear friend, Kelly for acting as the photographer/witness. Also special thanks to Geri Cole for making possible this wonderful life I share with Jasika, and shout out to my sister, Emily, for riding rickety bikes with me one night in Brooklyn to find this woman- I found her! 

    For some reason I never reblogged this photoset after Claire posted it last year, so, here it is for anyone I didn’t share it with before. Here’s to ugly crying and happiness that knows no bounds and shows up in new outfits on a regular basis!

    (Source: clairejsavage)

  8. feliciasbitch:


    Pets who love or hate their bath time


    (via unskinny)


  9. circumcisions:

    we should all be thankful that centipedes can’t fly

    (Source: gay8, via awkwardvagina)

  10. boots-n-cats:




    "this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

    Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 

    Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 


    This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.

    (via killmeinlove)